That's how it was to work cleaning the King's ass
As strange as it may seem today, the post of ' Groom of the Stool ' ( real cleanses , we would call it) was, for centuries and since its establishment in the sixteenth century, one of the most sought after in the English royal court. You were lucky if you had a good- natured and restrained king , but if you were a lover of plentiful and spicy foods, the work could be a real brown .
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It was Henry VII , as revealed by the Historic UK page, the first monarch who felt the need for someone to take care of the maintenance and cleaning of his blue blood anus. Soon the position acquired importance, since the waiter of the feces spent long moments of quality in intimacy with the King assisting him to retire his heavy, complex and expensive clothes so that he could do of belly in a relaxed and decorous way.
The position required walking all day between towels and bowls or basins, carrying the heavy chair to shit in the palace, monitor the diet and meal times of the king and organize your agenda based on the habits of your gastrointestinal tract . Not easy. Besides, it was necessary to have a certain education (the sovereign had to be conversed in his moments of relaxation), so that the youth was usually given to the youths of the aristocracy. In fact, the families that wanted to thrive were anxious to have one of their members in charge of the most important buttocks in the country. If the kids were good climbers, they took a generous pay, they were given the used clothing of the monarch and could even become personal secretaries of the king. We do not know if the softness of the skin of the palm of the candidate's hands was taken into account during the selection process, given that paper was not abundant.
During the four centuries of existence of the king's cleansing post (it was abolished in 1901 under the reign of Edward VII ) there have been few notable incidents. Henry Norris , for example, was executed by order of Henry VIII after being accused of paying special attention to the sexual organs of Queen Anne Boleyn . Political plot? Attack of acute corditis ? Rough hands? The 'mad king' George III (1760-1820) used during his seat on the throne no less than nine groomers . One of them, John Stuart , became British Prime Minister, which shows that the popular belief that taking good care of certain asses can help you to ascend, at least in politics it has a real basis.