We tried flavored condoms so you do not have to
It is the World Day of Contraception, and among all the appropriate ways to celebrate, the best is to try some condoms of flavors.
It's World Contraception Day, and among all the right ways to celebrate, the best seem to be to try some condoms. They not only offer safe sex; They can also be inflated like balloons, so they are clearly the most festive form of contraception. And if you think about it, what is more festive than flavor condoms?
Lifestyles Ultra Studded Condoms
Flavored condoms have a retro feel and taste: they are the kind you bought in the first days of your sexual awakening, when you discovered that choosing flavored condoms instead of normal condoms meant that you were a fully educated, experienced and adventurous person in sex . And you expected the strawberry flavor to drown the taste of the penis, since you were a little nervous. But once you turned 17 or 18 and sex started to be really fun, you soon forgot about them.
However, this could be a missed opportunity. To smell and taste those condoms of flavor would awaken the same wild and unbridled enthusiasm that you felt at 15 at the mere idea of "sex"? To find out if they were still working, we decided to try some flavored condoms, blindfolded and relaxing background music. Although condoms are usually served at the temperature of a penis, we tested them at room temperature in fruits and phallic vegetables, which probably distorted our results a bit, but was more appropriate for an office.
The product: Mint green (Fun Factory)
Taste test: The dominant taste is synthetic, like licking a plastic table. It has a very subtle mentolate. As subtle as if we had licked the part of the table where someone left a gum stuck many months ago.
The verdict: The condom may be a disappointment in terms of its taste, but it makes up for it with a lot of fragrance. It reminded us of a mojito. If you add boiling water to the condom, the resulting brew tastes like mint tea. We certainly recommend that you boil the condom before using it, or that you use it in a sauna. 8/10
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The product: Marshmallow (ESP Enjoyable Safe Pleasure)
Taste test: Strong, a fruity sweetness firm enough to resemble a cotton candy.
The verdict: The floral and fragrant sweetness of this condom takes you by surprise. However, it lacks spices and character, which makes the taste quite homogeneous. It could resemble a lip gloss for children. 7/10
The Product: Banana (Fun Factory)
Taste test: It tastes like banana, sure.
The verdict: We would prefer a little more sophistication; The perfume of this condom is as subtle as a bath flavoring. As for its flavor, it mimics that of a banana in a very convincing way, but more that of a banana sweet and less that of fresh fruit. A sexual adventure in which this condom is used would probably be like giving a blowjob to a penis-shaped marshmallow in a pretty perfumed bathroom. 7/10
The product: Strawberry (Secura Condoms)
Taste test: A weak and bland taste. It could be compared to a piece of chewing gum that has been chewed for a few days in a row.
The verdict: The flavor is a mixture of rubber tires and children's gum. The color of the test object is pale, which coincides with its weak taste. And also has a mineral leave. 3/10
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The product: Peach / orange (Secura Condoms)
Taste test: This condom smells like the inside of a hookah room, and it tastes like those effervescent vitamin C tablets that your grandmother forced you to drink.
The verdict: Finally, a condom to satisfy the gourmet palate! This flavor would also be excellent for gummy bears. Or for sweets against cough. Unfortunately, the taste faded in half a minute. After ninety seconds we could no longer detect any flavor. The brevity of the gustatory experience lends credibility to our theory that these products are aimed primarily at teenagers, who are known to ejaculate within that time frame. 8/10
The Product: Black Chocolate (Fun Factory)
Taste Test: The flavor evokes a vanilla flavor in the car of some teenager pacheco. The taste is not refined, but the intensity of the aroma made us feel that we were chewing flavors.
The verdict: The scent of cocoa simply did not meet our standards. Even with the visual help of the color of the condom, which obviously looked like chocolate, our brain refused to imagine that we were sucking a chocolate bar. Perhaps this is a prudent security measure against chocolate lovers who have the bite reflex. The unfortunate result, however, was a flavor similar to licking concentrated vanilla from a hose. 4/10
Related: Taking it out is just as effective as using a condom
The Product: Green apple (Secura Condoms)
Taste Test: Neutral flavor and a smell of fish and chewing gum.
The verdict: The supposed fruity flavor remained undetectable despite repeated attempts to suck them. The base taste similar to rubber dominates and overwhelms not only apple flavor, but everything else. The aromatic mixture of fish and chewing gum is unconvincing. We will not recommend the manufacturer of this item to receive a Michelin star.